at least it didn't end in fire this time

My Dearest Trader Ming:

While I enjoyed your Shrimp Gyoza, I believe you may have left out a step in the directions.

I heated the oil in the wok on high and began pan frying the gyoza, flat side down, just as your directions indicated. It was, however, after those 4 minutes when you instructed me to "add 4 tablespoons of water to pan" that things went horribly, horribly wrong.

You seemed to have neglected to include the part where the gyoza would immediately go supernova. While the loud eruption startled scared the living fuck out of me, it was the geyser of oily, searing hot pain that rained down immediately after, causing me to slip while trying to exit what I believed at the time be an exploding kitchen, that I will remember most.

I can only assume that this was meant as payback for Hiroshima. We're even, okay? Please don't try to kill me again with your delicious frozen food treats.