I'm experiencing technical difficulties.. please stand by

So I'm excited. My friend Scott from NY is spending the weekend. He's been in Australia the past year and is stopping in L.A. on his way back home. He's never been to L.A. so I'll get to play host and show him why the Westside is the best.

I decided I should use this as an excuse to tidy up my bathroom a bit. In the process I managed to knock over an oil candle thingy my ex Luis had given me. I was bummed. It was really fragile but had somehow managed to survive a move and even being knocked to the floor in a small earthquake. Not this time. In one shattering moment, it left little shards of glass all over my floor. Hopefully I've caught them all. And fortunately I still have two other oil candle thingies he'd given me.

It wasn't long after, however, I knocked over a glass of iced tea I'd been drinking, onto the carpet. Gravity was clearly not on my side tonight.

But then... I noticed one of my rugs that I'd just washed and dried was wet again. The toilet tank was leaking. Grrr... Hopefully the landlord can send someone out tomorrow to fix this. If not, I'll be making a trip to Home Depot myself to have to try to patch this up. I refuse to go a weekend without my bathroom.

And Scott will be here tomorrow... yay!

Flames... on the sides of the my face

REPORTER: Thank you, sir. Mr. President, many of your supporters believe that homosexuality is immoral. They believe that it's been given too much acceptance in policy terms and culturally. As someone who's spoken out in strongly moral terms, what's your view on homosexuality?

BUSH: Yes, I am mindful that we're all sinners. And I caution those who may try to take the speck out of the neighbor's eye when they've got a log in their own.... I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman. And I think we ought to codify that one way or the other. And we've got lawyers looking at the best way to do that.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the "leader" of the free world.


Oh, and Mr. President...I may be a "sinner", as you put it. But at least I'm no bigot.

And on that I say,

Good

Night.