davidology: (Default)
Protip: Don't leave your phone on vibrate on your desk while you're mic's live. To everyone on the call, it makes it sound like you just farted.



Feb. 17th, 2009 03:45 pm
davidology: (Default)

Been in position #2 for 30 minutes.

Only sure fire way to move up in the queue is to try to make it to the bathroom and back.

davidology: (Default)
Desk of the now

davidology: (internets)
It should come as no surprise to any of you: I hate sales calls. Nothing makes me more stabby. I understand your only job is to call me (apparently), but believe it or not, *I* actually have work to do!

At work they're the worst because invariably it's some asshat who won't take NO for an answer and who also apparently thinks that I just got an internet yesterday ("Hi, have you heard of the Google 'cause my company can put you there!") diaf *stab**stab**stab*.

You get 20 of these a day, and you'd hate you as much as I hate you. Today I got a 1:13 long voice mail that got in "We are one of the leading..." before I hit 9 to delete.

No... No, Tom, you are not. I can tell you what you are not: you are not leading anything. You know how I know, because if you have to tell me then you aren't. Leading companies don't have to tell me they're leading. You know who doesn't cold call me to tell me that, Tom? Microsoft, Google, Yahoo... you know, LEADING COMPANIES. I call them. If you're leading, I should have heard about you, and I should be calling you!


But wait... there's MOAR.

As I was typing this, he actually sent me a nonsensical email follow up... twice. AND HIGH PRIORITY, which just makes me want to stick toothpicks with little flags on them into in your eyes and then light them on fire. Yes, I read your email first, and I also deleted it because YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND EMAIL FLAGGING YOU TWITMONKEY I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!

I made this FAIL image macro just for you, Tom! plschokeanddiekthxbi!

Go directly to FAIL

So how's everyone?

davidology: (haha)
Well, my coworker found the Annoy-A-Tron I planted in her office lamp.

I snuck it in her office lamp while she had stepped out of her office. All day she complained about this high pitched beep, even dragging me down to hear it. I had planned to retrieve it Friday evening, but when I went to grab it I'd found she'd locked her office door. So I figured, I'll let her go a little nuts today and gank it on my way out.
Marieta (9/4/2007 10:59:18): om
Marieta (9/4/2007 10:59:19): g
Marieta (9/4/2007 10:59:22): i have a weird noixe
Marieta (9/4/2007 10:59:24): noise
Marieta (9/4/2007 10:59:30): i think i'm bugged
Me (9/4/2007 11:00:15): whoa... simmer crazy.
Marieta (9/4/2007 11:01:03): lol
Marieta (9/4/2007 11:01:07): i'm a little paranoid
Me (9/4/2007 11:01:30): if someone's bugging u, i'm sure it wouldn't emit a noise. don't go all boston on us.
Marieta (9/4/2007 11:02:49): lol
Marieta (9/4/2007 11:02:54): well i think it went haywire
Marieta (9/4/2007 11:03:06): cuz i get this weird noise evey once in a while from the ciling
Me (9/4/2007 11:19:34): maybe ceiling cat is watching you masturbate

This was better than the time I TPed her office or left her call back messages on her phone from every extension in the office.

Fast Forward to after lunch.

I notice she has 3 maintenance guys and a ladder outside her office. One of the guys is holding up a small PCB. I run to my office, close the door, and get on the phone.

Apparently, the maintenance guys told her on the way out they were going to use it on someone they don't like.

Our Office Manager is probably going to hunt me down and kill me. I'm still hold up in my office and in dire need of soda.

It's been a good life.

davidology: (grinds my gears)
Why is it that everything involving calendar sync has to suck giant, hairy monkey balls?

I had a very (and I mean very) delicate relationship going on with GroupWise, Outlook, ActiveSync, and my phone. See, the rest of the free world has standardized on Outlook/Exchange. We use GroupWise.

Now, not that GroupWise is bad, mind you. It's actually pretty slick some of the stuff you can do, and I've finally given in and am trying to use it to its full potential. Where it lacks is that it has NO native RSS support (seriously, 2007, Novell... wtf). On top of that, it has half-assed support for recurring appointments, but then, so does everyone apparently except Microsoft.

Problem is, because GroupWise and Outlook only tolerate one another, they just don't play well together. Every like third time I sync my phone up, it decides to duplicate every recurring appointment (and randomly). Other times, it just decides it doesn't want to sync at all. So I need to dump Outlook. My poor computer is caught in the middle of this battle, and it's having a nervous breakdown—as am I.

I thought, "Hey, I know what I'll do. I'll use Yahoo-to-Go to sync up my GroupWise calendar with Yahoo's calendar. Then Y2G on my phone will auto-sync my calendar from there." That would actually give me the over-the-air syncing that I can't have because we don't use Outlook/Exchange. Well, Yahoo doesn't support GroupWise. And, let's be honest, Yahoo doesn't keep up with their products either.

So I thought: Google Calendar. Tons of software, none of which does what I need. They get close, but never go far enough. I thought I'd use CompanionLink to sync GW to Google, then GooSync on my phone to sync from Google Calendar. But, CompanionLink just flat out isn't working. While I was waiting for their tech teams to figure out why, I noticed that GooSync doesn't auto sync (it's all manual). If I have to do it manually, fail! Then there's OggSync, but it's apparently an 800KB app (and it just ignores recurring appointments at this time, which won't work for me).

ahhh... Fail.

So... I think I'm back to just going all GroupWise with their lousy PDA Connect and hoping for the best. I hope it works on WM6 SmartPhones.

I guess one of these days I'll need to give and just go Blackberry—our office supports that. I've generally avoided BlackBerry, because I don't see the point. But, they do say once you go Blackberry, you never go back.

Anywho. The conclusion of my rant is this: Microsoft, Blackberry, Apple can all take your proprietary crap and shove it up your asses. I want open source. OPEN MOTHER FUCKING SOURCE. Take your Exchange, Blackberry, iTunes syncing CRAP and light yourselves on fire.

THIS ENDS HERE, MOTHER FUCKERS! *draws line.h in the sandbox*


davidology: (fail)
You want me to consider your email delivery system. How best to do this? Let me see...
  • Subscribe me to a list I didn't sign up for (spam).

  • Provide ancient and convoluted unsubscribe system that includes emailing an address.

  • Make sure said unsub mechanism doesn't work and returns that fail message marked high priority.

blacklist_from .*@stupidcompany\.com

Welcome to /dev/null
Population: YOU


davidology: (Default)
...that's 15 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

I think fire alarms would be much more entertaining if they played the Benny Hill/Stewie sexy party theme.

davidology: (Default)
My Halloween vacation is now officially over. Was nice to not have to wake up early for 5 days in a row, but that's over.

You have 15 messages.


Halloween was a blast though. Lots of parties and the carnival was pretty sweet this year. We got our costumes kind of at the last minute. I went as Jesus Tap Dancing Christ (Jesus outfit and a friend's tap shoes). Mikie cut out holes in a garment bag and went as emotional baggage; Johnjon put on a Sugar Daddy candybar costume (by far he had most of the requests for pictures). The only thing that was disappointing this year was that no one was really out on all hallow's eve. That was a bummer.

Anywho, there are supposed to be pictures somewhere. If I find them and they came out aight, I'll post. Hope everyone had equal amounts of fun.

davidology: (hyper)
if you burn popcorn, you should lose all microwave privileges! :-P In fact, you should probably be required to wear a puffy, fluorescent jumpsuit.

I mean, how can you burn popcorn? Even I can't manage to do that, and I can seemingly turn anything food-related into an accelerant.

Insert bag.
Press POPCORN button.
Press START.

Now, I smell like a s'more.

davidology: (meditate)
After four days off for Pride, it's SO good to be back at work.





davidology: (Default)

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